February, March April...

I have what??!!I am quite ahead of myself from this point. Blogging about this experience has been something that I had planned to do from the beginning. I am finally at a place where I feel that I will come out "a better person" when this roller coaster is over. I now feel that I can talk about it without completely loosing it. I am three months behind blogging schedule. So I will go back to the day when my life changed instantly.



Months leading up to my biopsy....

I am a absolute hypochondriac. Its the reason I didn't go to nursing school. For months I had swollen lymph nodes in my collarbone area and under my arm. I went to my doctor three times; none of which he seemed concerned. He never once mentioned this could be cancer. He drew some blood. Everything looked perfect. They called it an infection and it would go away... After 5 months I knew it wasn't an infection. I am not that laid back. I feel very in tune with my body. I wanted to believe nothing was wrong. I got a clean bill of health because the doctor said so. I should celebrate. If I had a glass of wine my neck and underneath my arm would hurt so much that I would have to take advil to make it go away. The swelling in my neck was so much that I could not see my collarbone. My roomie Amber recommended a "amazing doctor" It took a few weeks to get an appointment, but it was so worth it. He mentioned that it could be lymphoma. He ordered a biopsy immediately. I wish the other doctor would have figured it out six months ago. There is a reason for everything and I am thankful he didn't. After the lab work came back there were no signs of disease. I have always been an extremely healthy eater and exercise junkie. I guess that really helped me out in this situation.



February 5, 2009

Today I went for the lymph node biopsy in my collarbone area. My surgeon is amazing. I have never had surgery so I was a little nervous. I was just ready to find out this was nothing and go back to living the normal wonderful life I had going on. After the biopsy I knocked myself out with painkillers and had the best sleep I have had in a while. The last thing I was worried about was the results of the biopsy.



February 9, 2009

Today was going to be GREAT!! I was getting ready to go plan my September wedding! My fiance and I had been planning this week for months. We had appointments made with vendors. Not to mention today was day 1 of our 12 day vacation... I could not wait!!I jumped in the shower around 7. I was looking for Richard and couldn't find him anywhere... Finally, I walked out on the porch and he was in the corner on the phone crying... He never cries... In my four years with him I have never seen this... I knew immediately it was cancer....I took off running...I can't explain the feeling .Absolute terror! Cancer has always been my worst fear. I was trembling all over, screaming. Now my life will never be the same...

Today called for Emergency Chocolate!